Never Trust Piper's Games
by Don'tMurderTheWords
Summary: In which Nico is forced to become a contortionist for one of Piper's many (sadistic?) games. (Or the one time Nico agrees to play a game that isn't Mythomagic and everything isn't going swell)


**A/N: Hi guise, I'm back :)**

**So I've read HoH and I've had this headcanon for days now.**

**Also, I feel like I owe you guys and apology and an update since I promised stories and promptly disappeared. I'm really sorry as I've been busy with my college entrance exams and haven't had the time to put my thoughts in order. So, to make it up to you, I've made this Percico/Jasico fluffmania one-shot (not sure if this counts as fluff) and yes I ship them.**

**It's not betaread because I'm a sad, lonely, masochistic person. So all the mistakes are mine.**

**WARNING: Some OOC-ness, I guess?**

**PS: Absolute Zero is on hiatus, sorry!**

**_Disclaimer:_ As always, if I owned PJO or HOO, I would take Nico and have everyone smother him in hugs and kisses and choclates and blankets and mini-Percys and mini-Jasons. Our sassy Uncle Rick owns everything (and everyone in the fandom).**

**ENJOY!**

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**_NEVER TRUST PIPER'S GAMES_**

This game sucks. Just. Plain stupid.

I mean, of all the games we could play why did it have to be this. And why did I have to agree? Argh. This game is just stupid. Stupid.

We were relaxing from that stressful House of Hades ordeal on the Argo II when Piper suggested we play a game to take our mind off things. I suspect hers especially because of the things she's seen in Katoptris. Leo suggested hide-and-seek, to which I wholeheartedly agreed, but Piper seemed to have other ideas. She introduced to us a game called Dr. Quack Quack that she played with her friends before all Hades broke loose (figuratively). It was a simple game, really. Piper explained it once and I quickly got the general idea. Jason and Percy (Why am I not surprised?) needed to hear the mechanics once again before they could get it.

There would be one 'it' who would be called 'Dr. Quack Quack'. While Dr. Quack Quack was looking away, the remaining players would hold hands and form a circle and entangle, contort, twist, convolute the circle like a human ball of rubber band. The goal was for Dr. Quack Quack to untangle the group until they were back to their original position and without breaking the circle. Once back to the circle the group would break and run as Dr. Quack Quack would chase them and the first person caught would be the next 'Dr. Quack Quack'.

You can imagine my horror at the idea of such an absurd touchy-feely game. (How did it even exist in the first place?) I wasn't originally planning to play but the others (Jason and Hazel in the lead) were persistent. Heck, they even got Reyna to play in, and probably Coach Hedge, too, if they weren't worried about him breaking everyone's bones. Of course I protested that a lot of bones (and hearts, but I didn't say that) would be broken in this game. To which Piper countered that whoever broke anyone's bone/s would do the chores for a week. To which Jason and Hazel kept nodding to. And that's how I got in this infernal game in the first place. But that's only the tip of the iceberg.

The only established rule in this demigod version of Dr. Quack Quack was that powers weren't allowed (which everyone will most likely ignore).

Annabeth volunteered to be the first Dr. Quack Quack since she was good at solving puzzles (She trapped Arachne in her own web... which sort of backfired but, that's beside the point). We formed a circle, with me begrudgingly taking Jason's hand on my right and Hazel's on the other. So we twisted and turned, contorted and convoluted, and generally made a quivering chaotic mass of demigods (I almost always flinched every time someone touched me). My suffering was worsened here.

I was positioned in such a way that Percy was at my back holding me tightly in his arms, with his right arm being pulled to the left and his left arm to the right so he had me in an effective bear hug. This wasn't doing anything to calm my nerves. If you don't see how painful this is for me, let me explain.

I have been in love with a certain son of Poseidon named Perseus "Percy" Jackson since ever. Well, maybe not that long but enough for me to get hurt every time I see him with his girlfriend Annabeth (Poor girl, she doesn't deserve all the hate I give her, she's such a kind person, bless her soul). A few weeks ago, he and Annabeth had fallen into Tartarus (the same abyss I had just barely escaped from) when Percy refused to reach for my hand. In his defense, it was probably hard to reach with only one arm when there was Annabeth and a wrathful spider-woman (I'm not even kidding) were hanging on to your other arm, but still. The fact that he had chosen to fall and suffer the Abyss with Annabeth rather than take the risk and a possibility of salvation with me was a big reality slap for me (His fatal flaw was loyalty). What made it worse was that he made me promise to lead the others to him when there was more certainty of him and Annabeth dying in Tartarus than us making it to them. I looked into those gorgeous, sea-green orbs and knew that I couldn't refuse. So I made a promise and fulfilled it. Miraculously, they were able to survive (chalk it to Percabeth to survive against all odds, in Tartarus, no less) and it was heart-wrenchingly painful to see that their trip to Tartarus only seemed to push them together more. So, you see why my position is so painful.

It was also not helping that our proximity to each other was unbearably awkward (and also hot but I would never admit that). I mean I could literally feel his muscles shifting in my back, his biceps and triceps clenching and unclenching at my side as his arms were pulled to and fro. My hindquarters could detect his groin shifting ever so lightly. It was also definitely helping that he suddenly chose to place his head on my left shoulder as if it was something he did everyday (and oh, gods, what I wouldn't give for that to happen). His laugh was ringing in my ears, clear as the sea on a windless day. I could feel every rise and fall of his lungs, his every breath and, if we were pressed even closer (pleasepleaseplease), his heartbeat. I could smell the ocean on him, tainted only by the treacherous smell of Tartarus' sulfur, which didn't exactly make him smell any less intoxicating. Once, he (and me, of course) was suddenly jerked forward and it took all my might and concentration not to moan on the spot. I fought hard so that the heat that was creeping up from my groin wouldn't show on my face (I'm not some school girl to blush that easily).

Compared to my situation, the others' positions were Elysium. Reyna had somehow ended up smelling Frank's butt, asking when the last time he had curry chicken was. Leo's face was smashed under Piper's arm. Jason was bent over with his hands locked behind him. My poor sister Hazel seemed to be taking the blunt of the twists as her arm was awkwardly looped around Reyna. With her face seemingly crunched up in pain, I looked at her with concern in my eyes. I was about to call the game off because of her (and partly because of my position) when she laughed a golden, mellow laugh, remarking that one of Jason's hands (only the gods know how many he really has, that hekotonkheire) was tickling her to her second death. Jason looked around and saw my unfortunate situation and smirked. SMIRKED AND WINKED. The nerve. I'll have his head one of these days.

When we were finally satisfied with the twisted and infernal puzzle, we called Dr. Chase/Dr. Quack Quack. Upon seeing us, she cursed in Ancient Greek about setting someone's ears on fire. She looked at us for a moment and started testing her untangling theories. She asked us to move and shift here and there. I ended up kneeling in front of Percy, facing his (very distractingly attractive) groin. To make matters worse, someone's arm (Leo's, I think) was shoved under my chin forcing it to look up to Percy the moment he looked down. Seeing my weird (IT WAS ACTUALLY WAY WEIRDER BUT I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE) position he flashed me his signature smirk (the same smirk that made my heart stop or beat a thousand times a second and the butterflies in my stomach dance the flamenco). Unsurprisingly, she untangled us in ten seconds flat after testing out her theories and caught me first (come on, tell me that if the love of your life hugs you that tight and holds you that closely, and you won't feel a thing, I'd gladly tell my stepmother to turn me into a flowering dandelion again... Ok maybe not, but you get the idea). The absence of Percy's arms and body around mine left me dazed and slightly winded (also, Piper used charmspeak on Annabeth and Jason flew away).

It took a while for them to retangle/restrangle themselves and when I turned I thought to myself, Holy Hades' underpants, how am I supposed to fix that? It took a little over 7 minutes for me to detangle them (mostly because I avoided touching Percy lest I be tempted, but Styx, his limbs were everywhere) and less than 3 minutes to catch Frank by shadow traveling behind him.

And so we went through the grueling process for the third round. By then, everyone was sort of breathless and excited (not me, I'm the son of the Lord of the Underworld, I'm chill) and they didn't seem to care about the ongoing war outside our trireme (in addition, it was an absolutely lovely afternoon with the sun not too hot and the winds from the sea were gentle). In fact, as far as I could see, even Reyna was having fun, grinning from ear to ear (To say that Reyna was having fun was tantamount to saying that my father was a Transfiguration professor at Hogwarts). This game really seemed to take their mind off things (Too bad it didn't do no wonders for me) at least for a short while.

This time was worse. I was facing Jason this time and we were in a really awkward (and little too close for comfort) bro-hug (why is every hot demigod I know hugging me today? Is it my second birthday?) with his right arm on my left shoulder and my right arm over his left shoulder. To be honest (though I'll never admit this confession in a million years), if I wasn't so in love with oblivious!Percy and Jason didn't have a superhot girlfriend, (and if he wasn't such an ass) I probably would have turned my attention on him. I mean, just look at him. Blonde hair, electric blue eyes, strong and sturdy build, definitely some gorgeous, tanned muscles, dazzling smile, that cute, little scar, a little rough around the edges (mhmmmm), and by the Fates, he can freaking fly. That alone would make me attracted to him. But as it is, I'm as close to getting either of them as I am to liking the color hot pink.

Jason pulled me out of my deep, dark thoughts (WHEN I SAY DEEP AND DARK I MEAN TARTARUS DEEP AND DARK, I KNOW BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE, OK) by commenting how pleased I seemed during the first round of the game (He was prolly thinking of using that as an excuse to get me to confess but nah uh, over my dead, paranoid body). I ignored his comment and concentrated on scowling. My arm was pulled by someone and I was pulled deeper (not helping) into Jason's embrace (I swear once I achieve growth spurt, I am so going to get back at those two). He told me that if he didn't know better (he doesn't), he'd say that I liked him and not Percy. I responded accordingly by stepping on his foot hard, Nico-style. It illicited a whimper from the son of Jupiter and brought tears to both of our eyes, his in pain, mine in mirth.

Finally Frank managed to untangle me from Jason (which I was really grateful for, he was getting on my nerves). This time it was Hazel's turn to be Dr. Quack Quack (Why am I still playing this?). Percy and Jason promptly took both of my hands, each of them grinning widely and neither of them showing any intention of letting go (THE FREAKING IRONY OF IT ALL).

Oh, Hades, this game sucks. Just. Plain Stupid.

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**A/N:**

**SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION:**

**also published on my AO3 account (DontMurderTheWords) and my Tumblr (wearegodsofstories)**

**As always, R&R and flames will be used to make delicious chocolate-chip cookies.**

**SEE YOU!**


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